People tend to remember bad mannered children better than those who are well-mannered. It is also true that people enjoy the company of well-behaved children compared to those who are unruly little terrors. What is interesting as well is that it is quite instant that we make judgements almost immediately about the parents of the unruly child.
Take my last visit back home for an extended family function as an example. Most of my cousins have young kids and they are around the same age. There are 3 little kids that I enjoy playing with because they are funny, responsive and polite little cuties. And like their parents and grandparents, they laugh a lot. The eldest of the three looks after his siblings and the youngest who’s the only girl is good natured and likes to follow her 2 brothers around. They play well among themselves as well as with the other kids.
Now, there is 1 cousin of mine who has an only child and her son who is around seven years old is surprisingly rude. He deliberately squeezes my hand hard when we were introduced and shortly after that, he gave me a whack on my leg for no good reason! My cousin saw that and all she smilingly said was “Son, that wasn’t very nice.” I wasn’t the only victim of this child’s abuse as he tends to go around hitting other people. He also likes to interrupt conversations and if he doesn’t get what he wants, he hits. My cousin didn’t do much in correcting her precious son’s behaviour.
Are some children born naughty? Is this really a behavioural disorder? Or a case of poor parenting? I believe it’s the latter.
Sure times have changed, more people are getting more educated and technology has advanced but that does not give any excuses for bad manners and not having basic courtesy, let alone basic common sense. As a parent, by constantly giving in and having the “let kids be kids” approach, you are not doing yourself or your child any favour! How can the child learn what is right or wrong? How can the child learn to develop healthy relationships in the future?
Parents shouldn’t blame or rely on schools or teachers to teach good manners too as at the end of the day, it’s your child, your responsibility.
Test if you’ll be a good example for your child here: How Polite Are You?
Make it a fun exercise to teach your kid good manners by giving them Social E-Tickets – this will help them recognise what’s acceptable and what’s not.
Which personality type are you? Recently, I had been described by a friend that I’m a “typical Type A” as I can’t seem to sit still and I’m always out and about. Typical Type A? Hmmm, I’m not sure if I like to be placed in that bucket. So for the fun of it, here’s my own analysis based on this article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/13/are-you-a-type-a-or-type-_n_4549312.html
- Waiting in long lines kills you a little bit inside – Yes it does but it is also partially because I know things can be improved in this situation. I tend to put on my HPI (Human Performance Improvement) hat on: Does the person behind the counter knows how to do the job? Are the right tools and systems in place to help him to perform better? Has the organisation given enough planning and resources to better manage this process? Etc.
- You’ve been described as a perfectionist, overachiever, workaholic or all of the above –Not all the time. Perhaps been described twice as an overachiever and maybe less than 10 people told me that I’m a workaholic, which I think comes from my Chinese Singaporean mentality.
- You bite your nails or grind your teeth – No. I have lovely nails and I listen to my Osteo who advised me to avoid having my teeth touching each other all the time whenever I have my mouth closed.
- You have a serious phobia of wasting time – Yes but I won’t say it’s a serious phobia. I don’t break out in cold sweat.
- You’re highly conscientious – Yes. I call it being very organised or a more positive term being “proactive”. I like being effective and efficient. Like the saying goes, “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail”.
- You’ve always been a bit of a catastrophist – This is definitely a big fat No. I always believe in making the best out of the time I have and the decisions I make each day. No regrets.
- You frequently talk over and interrupt people – Not all the time. I do have moments when I hardly talk and just listen. Or perhaps totally zone out if I got too bored. I only tend to talk over and interrupt when the individual is stuck or going about the same thing. It’s a way to facilitate the meeting / conversation. I do apologise for interrupting.
- You have a hard time falling asleep at night – No. I sleep real well. My sleep patterns from my Jawbone Up reports make a lot of my friends jealous.
- People can’t keep up with you – in conversation or on the sidewalk – Yes I admit so. I’m a fast walker (but not in heels) and talker, especially if I’m really excited about the topic.
- You put more energy into your career than your relationships – No. This may be true when I was younger. Now, work-life balance and relationships with people I care about are more important.
- Relaxing can be hard work for you – No, not at all. Bring on beach vacations, massages, spas, food, culture, sight-seeing, etc. Did I mention I’m a sucker for massages?
- You have a low tolerance for incompetence – Yes. I also get irritated with people who doesn’t use common sense or have basic manners or courtesy. As Billy Connolly says it best, “As my years grow longer, my tolerance of fools grows shorter.”
- You’d be lost without your to-do list – Yes, I have a to-do list. But I won’t be lost.
- At work, everything is urgent – No. I strive to be in Quadrant II (Important & Not Urgent of Stephen Covey’s Four Quadrants for time management) most times.
- You’re sensitive to stress – No. I deal with stress well and I know which are the best ways for me to de-stress.
- You make it happen – Yes! Things will not happen if there’s action associated with it, isn’t it? What’s the use of intentions when there’s no action?
So, how did I score? That makes Yes = 7, No = 7 and Not all the time = 2.
Somewhat in the middle? Well, at least I’m not a “typical Type A” … I just have a little more of Type A and there is nothing wrong with that.
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